No Pictures, No Videos - Just Bitching

I enjoy blogging. I really do. Recently, I looked inward to explain my recent sporadic posting. For the most part, I use blogging to get things off my chest. Well, I haven't really had a need to do that lately - things have been going very good.

Baba in a good mood for months on end. Yeah, hard for me to believe too, but why question a good thing. Would my good fortunes be able to survive a week in Bentonville, Arkansas? 1 day in, and we have a verdict.

Following is the time line of the last 24 hours. Enjoy, and yes, I expect some sort of pity!

1:25 EST - Baba boards a Delta Airlines flight en route to Bentonville with a short stop off in Chicago, a change to American Airlines, and then on to my final stop. Served 6 crackers, which should be enough to hold me over until Chitown, where I can get some lunch before my next flight.

1:45 CST - Delta flight lands at O'Hare, and Baba is forced to run and break a sweat getting to his connection.

2:20 CST - Baba arrives at gate to check in as plane is boarding. No time for lunch. Irritation is setting in.

2:25 CST - Baba boards American Airlines plane, which leaves 10 minutes later. Lady next to me has brought McDonald's on the plane.

2:50 CST - The flight attendants start serving from the front of the plane, meaning Baba will be 7th to last out of 190 people to receive his 60 calorie package of snack mix. Lady next to me is in no hurry to eat her food as it sits in the bag.

3:10 CST - McDonald's lady decides to start "picking" at her food. Baba nearly boils over as she takes a few bites of everything and then tosses the rest aside.

3:20 CST - Baba is presented with snack mix - which was AWESOME.

4:05 CST - Baba arrives at NW Arkansas regional airport. While waiting for bags, Baba obtains his rental car.

4:20 - 5:30 CST Baba engages in the following conversation:

Baba: Excuse me sir, I need a little help finding my bag.

Earl: Okay let me check into it for you. *Earl pushes computer buttons for 10 minutes and then disappears for another 30.

Earl: Sir, it looks like you bag was mis-picked and sent to Bismark, North Dakota.

Baba: Okay, where do we go from here?

Earl: After pushing buttons for another 15 minutes - Looks like we can have your bag to you "sometime" tomorrow afternoon.

Baba: I have a meeting very early in the morning tomorrow. I have nothing to wear. Getting my bag to me "sometime" tomorrow afternoon, is NOT acceptable.

Earl: I'm sorry sir, that is as soon as we can get it here.

Baba: So that's it. You send my bag to North Dakota, and you then send me on my way with a sorry bout your luck? I am NOT okay with that!

Earl: Let me talk with my supervisor. *15 minutes pass* It looks like we can get your bag here by 8pm. Our delivery guy comes in at 9pm. We can have your bag to your hotel by 10.

Baba: My bag will be delivered to my hotel by 10 pm tonight?

Earl: Yes.

Baba: That is much more acceptable. Thank you!

5:30 - 6:00 CST - Baba drives to hotel.

I am staying at a Hyatt Place. All rooms feature a 42 in flat screen TV. My room is phenomenal, my bag will be here by 10 pm, and we are going to Carrabba's for dinner - All is right in the world again, and Baba is in danger of not blogging.

9:00 CST - Baba returns to hotel from dinner.

10:15 CST - Baba is still sans bag.

10:20 CST - Baba calls the # provided earlier at the airport.

Automated Voice: your bag is currently at NW Arkansas Regional Airport and is scheduled to be delivered by 12 am CST.

Baba: Operator.

Automated Voice: It sounds like you would like to talk with an operator. Please choose from the following menu so we can best serve you.

Baba: Operator.

Automated Voice: Please choose.....

Baba: OPERATOR!

Operator: How may I help you?

Baba: Your company sent my bag to North Dakota. Earl told me I would have it by 10 pm. It is now 10:30 pm and I have no bag.

Operator: Looks like your bag is scheduled to be delivered to your hotel by 12 am.

Baba: I am tired. I need to iron still. I have to get up at 4 am. Earl said it would be here by 10. This is unacceptable.

Operator: I do not know why you were told that.

Baba: Earl seemed pretty confident in his claim. Can I speak with your supervisor.

*After being on hold for 10 minutes, Baba hops in his car and drives to airport. At some point, Baba is hung up on.*

11:00 CST - Baba obtains bag from rude person, who does not apologize for the travesty that has just occurred.

*While on way back to hotel, Baba call American Airlines Advantage Member number, which he is a member of.* Following is that transcript.

Baba: I would like to talk with someone about my travel earlier today.

"Customer Service Rep:" Do you have a complaint?

Baba: YES, I do.

"Customer Service Rep:" That will have to go to our Quality Assurance Dept. I can give you a Fax # or an Email.

Baba: I would like to call them.

"CSR:" I can give you a Fax # or an Email.

Baba: You mean after everything today, I cannot even talk to a live person about this?

"CSR:" I can give you a Fax # or an Email.

Baba: Can I talk to a supervisor?

11:30 CST - Baba arrives back at hotel, just as I am hung up on again.

11:30 - 12 am CST - Baba unpacks and irons clothes. Baba changes wake up call from 4:15 am to 4:45 am. Baba falls asleep.

3:30 am - Baba wakes up, paranoid he will over-sleep. Over the next hour or so, Baba is in and out of sleep.

5:00 am - After shower, Baba rocks in the fetal position in his room as he weeps.

Baba blogs again.

Baba OUT!

Mr. Drug Dealer, I was in the bathroom!!!

I've returned from my trip to LA. I had a discussion with my wife before I went, and convinced her it was fate that Reese Witherspoon and Britney Spears had "conveniently" become single just before my trip out there. Who are we to look fate in the eye? You saw what happened to Mr. Eko! You have to do what you have to do! Unfortunately, I never ran into either of them.














I was out there because one of my best friends got married. I played football in college with him. He has been in LA for about 7 years now and is a regular on the LA comedy scene. He had his wedding in Long Beach. Following, is my account of how I narrowly made it back one night alive.

Thursday night, we stayed in LB and went out there. We went out after the rehearsal, which gave us a late start. We met up with another guy we played football with and one of his friends. We also had another person with us that was in the wedding party for a total of 5.

We started out at a nice little Irish Pub. We enjoyed several adult beverages, but quickly left this location for a more "upbeat" spot.

We ended up at a little Salsa bar. This bar had 2 parts - downstairs was a bar/restaurant and upstairs was a dance club. We went in to the downstairs area, as you had to be on a list to get in upstairs.

It was my idea to go in this club, as I was looking for somewhere to use the bathroom, and this place seemed like the kinda bar I would not mind Droppin' a Deuce in.

So we went in, my friends went to the bar, and I went to checkout the facilities. About 10 minutes in, one of my friends came in to tell me that we were leaving and they would wait outside for me. About 10 minutes later, I was done dropping the kids off at the pool, and headed outsite.

I go outside and there is a large crowd starting to form....and who do I find in the middle of all the commotion, but my friends. Now, my friend has told me tales of what I am about to tell you.....trips to the VIP room, free drinks, you know, the star treatment, but I had never seen it in person. You see, my friend that got married bares a striking resemblance to Jamie Foxx. So, there were several on-lookers trying to catch a glimpse of Mr. Foxx. There was also a sharply dressed man ($5000 suit, stunning girl on his arm, and a full pose of his own), who I was told was trying to get us to come to the upstairs club as his guest.


From what I was told, my friend tried to tell these people he was NOT Jamie Foxx, but they refused to believe him. So, after a few minutes, we decided to play along. As I said earlier, this is something that I have never witnessed, but was told happens quite a bit. I, along with the other guy that I knew from college, played the role of Jamie's security detail. Before we agreed to go into the club, security (me) had to go in and make sure it was safe.....back exit and what not.

After my trip inside, things were declared safe. I am surprised they did not call us out then and there, as I chose to gawk at all the beautiful women salsa dancing, instead of doing my "job."

Here's where I became a slightly uneasy about our little hoax. The sharply dressed man was clearly either a Drug Lord and/or Mob Kingpin. So, this guy pays all of our ways in ($100), buys us several rounds of drinks ($200), and we go directly to the VIP section. His girlfriend ends up begging to dance with Jamie, so he agrees.

Now, I do not have a lot of experience with drug dealers or the mob. However, as I've stated before, I watch way too much TV, and I've seen enough to know that people have gotten whacked for less than $300. Let alone the disrespect that I'm sure he would have perceived by our "lies" and inappropriate dancing with his GF.

I decided it was time to go when Tony Montana's goons started questioning me about how we knew their "boss." So, I rounded to troops up, Mr. Foxx graciously said his goodbyes, and we left.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful.....well not really, but you know what they say.....what happens in Long Beach stays in Long Beach!

Baba Ganoush, OUT.

Tom Foolery

Well the LA trip is going well. One more day out here.

The wedding was last night. Best Man speech went well.

We've gone out the past few nights and the $20 covers and $13 drinks are not being too kind to my budget.

I met Aiesha Tyler and that guy from the sprint commercial where he can only get reception while on top of a filing cabinet.

I hope to stalk some more celebrities tonight, as we are going to Sky Bar, which is supposed to be very upscale.

I have some other material from this weekend, but will post later. Just a little teaser.....tune in to hear how I almost got wacked by the Cubian mafia.....no, I am not kidding.

Baba Ganoush, OUT