Poison On My Television

With my first "actual" post in quite awhile, I'll most likely get myself in trouble. Oh, well. If there was one thing that I learned in college, well at least something that I actually use today - Your dirty laundry is best aired in a public forum. That little tidbit, courtesy of Jerry Springer. I still wonder who Shanequa Baby Daddy is though?

Way back in the day - Before Baba Ganoush started working for The Man, I worked in social services. I didn't have 2 nickels to rub together, and lived on Ramen Noodles, but I was doing good work. Anyway, while working with kids for several years, my personal mission statement was simple - Every moment is a teaching moment. With that in mind, you will surely understand my concern with the recent transgressions at Mi Casa.

I have addressed this issue with my wife several times, and things seem to be getting worse. She has left me with no other choice than to call her out here and subject her to public ridicule.

We try not to let our kids watch too much TV, but what I continually catch her letting my future All-American football player watch can only be described as a blatant sign of defiance.

This morning was the straw that broke Baba's back. Lil' Dude was watching some "educational" show about garbage me. What they do, how they do it, etc..... In short, the program was glorifying a garbage man's job. Now I know we need future garbage men, just like we need future CEOs. I'd just like to shoot a little higher for our kids than the next great "garbage person" - I guess I should be politically correct here, because if my wife has it her way, our little girl will be in waste management as well.

This all started long ago. There were 2 things I put my foot down on when this whole kid thing started - The Wiggles and Teletubbies.








The more evil and developmentally detrimental of the two is a debate that has raged in my circle for decades, well just a few years, but you get the point. They are both unacceptable, but creepy middle aged men always trump strange creatures with TVs on their stomachs talking in some nonsensical language.

True, I thought it was cute the first time he asked, "I watch Wiggle?" It was just that though, cute. It was in no way a request that was going to be met by his Dad.

What do I continue to find recorded on our DVR - The Wiggles! She obviously won't listen to reason, and I can't divorce her for this. So I have resorted to this. Well, this, and erasing them before they teach anyone in my household that creepy, strange, middle-aged men are friendly and fun.

So, let the public ridicule begin!

Baba Ganoush, OUT!

Long Time, No Blog............

Happy Easter everyone. Can't believe it has been so long since I posted. Just when I thought I was out, JLee pulled me back in - you know I have a soft spot for quizzes.

So, what kind of flirt am I:

You Are a Super Flirt

You love to flirt, so much so that it gets you in trouble. In almost any situation, you find yourself flirting - even when it's inappropriate. You tend to embrace all flirting styles too.. from coy to sexy to playful to serious. And if someone flirts back, you'll crank it up even more!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

Might explain that little sexual harassment suit a few years back - just kidding.

So, what did you all do to celebrate Easter? It all started for me yesterday - free egg hunt at the local church. I was a little worried I might actually spontaneously combust upon entering, but I made it in okay.

I think I might have been better off had I been on fire. It would have made the experience a little more bearable. 100 screaming kids + 200 parents = a stressed out Baba Ganoush.

Then this morning we hid eggs around the house. So, here it is noon, the little guy has had a pound of chocolate, and I have had enough of Easter. Why is this a holiday anyway? Oh yeah, I remember. I really dislike being on fire.

Have a good one.

Baba Ganoush.

Those Damn High Notes

Happy Hump Day Everyone! Most people hate Wednesdays, but I love them. About the time of day I usually say to myself, "today sucks," I remember that Wednesdays are Lost nights.

This season has been especially good. And I appreciate ABC keeping the show on throughout the season without repeats. That helps to keep my Wednesdays the best day of the week. No idea what I'll do when the season is over - we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Something happened to me last week. I lost my voice - no, it was not on a deserted island. I have been hoarse before, but I have never lost my voice completely like I did last week.

I had a 2 hour drive from Cincinnati to Louisville and then back again in one day. If you have never had the pleasure of making this drive, let me tell you - it is awful. There is literally nothing for 2 hours. On this particular trip, I got reacquainted with my Pop Mix CD. Prince and I had several jam sessions with Little Red Corvette, where I showed him how to hit the high notes.

Well, my voice is almost back to normal today. Although I may be in for a relapse. While taking the kids to daycare today, what popped on my XM dial - 69 Boyz with Tootsee Roll. They are both still young enough for me to make an ass of myself in front of them without embarrassing them.

To the Left, to the left. To the Right, to the right. To the Front, to the front. To the Back, to the back. Now Dip Baby! Come on now dip!

I am off to see if The World's Largest Retailer is displaying my products like they are supposed to. For my voices sake, I plan on listening to talk radio and XM Comedy all day.

And a video to boot! Have a great rest of the week!

No sure what country these crazy things are from, but they'd probably cause me some problems too!




Baba Ganoush Out!

March Madness - Try Coaching Madness

Since my bracket is already practically worthless, I figured I'd take this time to do a little blogging. In the spirit of March Madness, I thought I'd share a little story with you.

Shortly after graduating from IU, I took a volunteer position coaching Bloomington Indiana's Special Olympic basketball team. I had some experience working with this population, and with my athletic background, I was an easy choice as a Co-Head Coach.

This particular team had won the state championship the previous 2 years. Needless to say, there was some degree of pressure and expectation that came with this position.

Coaching was another story altogether. While trying to teach a proper bounce pass, I also had to deal with the guy, who's first words to me were, "I'm Jordan, just get me the ball. I'm Jordan." Getting this guy to not shoot every time he touched the ball was a full time job in and of itself.

While trying to teach the fundamentals of a 1-2-2 Zone Full Court Press Defense, I had to keep the guy focused, who had no idea what deodorant and/or a shower was.

During games, making sure everyone played was always a challenge. Especially when our Jr. Bobby Knight would throw a chair onto the court. Something he'd do at lease 3 times a game.

You think the AAU parents are bad? You think the soccer mom is tough to deal with. You haven't seen anything until you've dealt with one of these psycho parents.

Yeah, I know, a lot of pressure. Good thing we had our secret weapons. We had 3 guys on our team that were just really stupid. Really stupid. Stupid to the point where the state of Indiana considered them to have an actual disability. Great for me though. I'd stagger their minutes so that I had at least 2 of them on the floor at all times.

I remember our very first game. There was this guy on the other team with one normal arm, and then one chicken wing arm that he couldn't use at all. Funny thing was, he had a great shot. This guy was going nuts on us. At halftime, we were down 16 points and this guy had most of their points.

During my halftime pep talk, I got a little fired up. In front of the whole team, I challenged our best ringer to guard Chicken Wing the rest of the game. "Everywhere he goes, I want you right there with him. If he goes to the bathroom, you're going with him. If he goes to McDonalds, I want you sitting right next to him." My ringer ate up the attention and my team loved it.

Chicken Wing ended up not scoring again, and we won the game. To this day, I can very clearly remember how pitiful and dejected he looked every time he tried to shoot a one-handed J with my ringer hanging all over him. I got a few punches on my express ticket to hell for that one.

Have a great weekend everyone, and enjoy the games!

Baba Ganoush, OUT.