Monday, September 18, 2006

I normally don't approve of jokes that make men look like pigs, but hey, sometimes we are. This one is sort funny and hits home in a few areas. Enjoy.

Also, I will be in Denver all week, so I might not post that much. But, enjoy this week in TV-Land. It should be a good one.

Baba Ganoush - OUT!

Monday, August 31, 2006


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?

Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PMfor 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PMfor 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost

Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Here's a pretty cool video if you are into video games, especially old school Nintendo. It references Nintendo's past and their new system - The Revolution (or the Wii for those up on their video game news). Deals mostly with their losing battles with Microsoft (Xbox) and Sony (Playstation).

The video is a little lengthy at 6m 11s. If you are not into games, don't waste your time. But if you are, FIND THE TIME, IT IS WELL WORTH IT.

Baba Ganoush - OUT.

Survivor Cook Islands

Alright, so for you Survivor fans out there, last night was a big night. This season has gotten a lot of pub due to the way the tribes have been split - into ethnic groups (Caucasian, African American, Asian, and Hispanic).

A few things about my viewing of this show before we get started.

  • I do not necessarily like this show. As stated before, I watch A LOT of shows. I am generally pretty easily entertained, but I really watch this show as a "I'll scratch your back, if you scratch mine," sort of thing with my wife, which encourages her to watch shows with me that she normally would not (that's how I pulled her into Lost).

  • I'll do my best not to offend anyone. I felt a lot of stereotypes were perpetuated with this show before they put this year's spin on things, so things could get ugly.

  • If you're looking for in-depth Survivor posts, you might want to look elsewhere. I think Survivor is a good show, but for me, and the number of shows I watch, it got sent to the C-List several years ago.

My wife read there are 3 separate hook-ups this year, which will greatly enhance my viewing pleasure. I think we got a sneak peek at one of them tonight.

Candice and Parvati are my front-runners so far for who'll keep me glued to the TV for a blurred out nipple-slip or butt crack (Jessica's did not Git R Dun). Hopefully they'll make it far enough to get to that one physical challenge where a wrestling match breaks out and clothes inevitably fall off - yeah, you know the challenge I'm talking about.

The show comes to its climax as the African American team comes in last in the first challenge. While they do have to go to tribal council and send a member home, they are rewarded with the privilege of picking 1 person from any other team to go to "Exile Island."

After some deliberation, Nathan announces they are sending Jonathan, as payback for stealing a chicken from the Asian team. This is where things become confusing. (Jessica later "accidentally" let the chickens out. I think she did it on purpose - PETA loving Hippie Chick).

Before announcing the name, and after referencing the chicken rationale, Nathan makes a bold statement.
"Karma is a Bizzle," Nathan boasts in true Snoop-Dogg fashion.

Wait a minute, did he just say what I think he said? No, not the 26 yo LA native, who works in retail sales (fancy speak for works in a mall). Well, then again, even though it's played out, he might have said Bizzle - fo Shizzle. Better check the handy dandy closed caption.

"Karma is Abysmal," proclaims Nathan in true Simon Cowell fashion.

I have yet to decide which statement brings more personal shame on young Nathan. Hell, I'm not 100% sure what he even said? Anyone have any idea?

Needless to say, in the end, either his OG rant or his mastery of getting through the A's in his quest to learn bigger words, saved him from being sent home.

Poor Sekou was sent packing, despite his promises to build the grandest fire Survivor has ever witnessed. We bid a fond farewell to the 45 yo Jazz Musician/Recording Artist from LA.

And possibly the most annoying castaway - Cao Boi (no relation to Big Boi). He gave me a serious case of "Bad Wind," with his medicine man crap. In an effort to expand my mind and open up alternative medicine, I later tried this on my wife, and she was NOT happy. From the looks of next week's episode, Cao "BIG" Boi is annoying his fellow tribe-mates, with more poorly timed Asian jokes, offensive Asian jokes, and/or just not that funny Asian jokes.

Survivor Cook Islands promises to provide plenty of eye-candy (for you girls too), a lot of intense competition, and plenty of reasons for many groups to be proud of and cheer for their ethnic group.

However, there appears to also be ample injections of obnoxious stereotypical behavior, that will make us all feel just a little uncomfortable. Watching Sorority Girl, Alternative Hippie Nakomis Girl, Mr. Miyagi Guy, and Dominating Black Girl should captivate us week after week (much like our inability to look away from a bad wreck) just enough to keep coming back for the season's guiltiest pleasure.

Have fun, enjoy the season. There will be more interesting shows on soon - Hang in there.

Baba Ganoush - OUT.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

If you read my last post, my wife was fairly certain I was turning into scary basement blogging guy.

Since it's been 2 days and the FBI has not raided my house yet, I thought I'd show her my first blog.

She did not have much of a problem with things, accept (yeah, I know) for my spelling and grammar in a few spots. Needless to say, this was a WIN. I'll take that anyday, over the dirty looks that made me feel just as dirty.

I will say, though, that I usually pride myself on good spelling and grammar. However, I don't intend on proofreading every single line before I post something. If you are having problem, use context clues and FIGURE IT OUT. I am working on using less commas, and more abbreviations for everyone's sake.

I was going to put some of my poems on here for my next post, but when I went to get them off the 3.5, there was a problem. Apparently, back in the day, I was a big fan of WordPerfect. As soon as I can figure this little technical difficulty out, I'll post some work.

Baba Ganoush, over and OUT.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

I'm NOT a Deviant, Nice to Meet You.....

Okay, so this is my first blog, and the title's meaning is twofold :

  1. A response to my wife's view on why people blog.
  2. Why I am actually here.

So, my wife (who I love dearly (most of the time)) seems to think that EVERYONE, who blogs and/or uses sites like myspace is a DEVIANT, sexual or otherwise.

After far too much time spent trying to convince her that people who do these things are not deviants, I finally had to settle on - I'm NOT a Deviant, and I am going to blog. While I'm sure some people out here have their share of issues, I cannot except that EVERYONE out here is a DEVIANT, and I certainly am not.

Now, to some people, I'm sure I engage in behaviors that a number of you would consider deviant. And to others, those same behaviors would be just fine.

But for the purposes of this blog and my wife's current usage of the word, I'm NOT a Deviant!!!

I'll let you draw your own conclusions from here.

Okay, so why I am here?

What you WILL see:

  1. General observations that I find humorous and want to know if you do to.
  2. I would like to share information about Television shows - as busy as I am, I watch A LOT of TV (Lost, 24, Vanished, Justice, desperate Housewives, Sopranos, Surface, Invasion, Cold Case, How I Met Your Mother, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Big Brother, Survivor, Treasure Hunters, and The Amazing Race). I am also excited about a few new shows - Heroes, The Nine, and Six Degrees. You gotta love DVR!!!
  3. I love movies, but with a busy family and work life, I do not get to go much, usually wait for the DVD, and thus behind the curve.
  4. I love to cook, and I will share my recipes, and look to get some discussions going to get others to share theirs.
  5. I will probably rant about things that annoy me, which some days, is just about everything.
  6. I have written several un-published poems. I've been told they are good. At some point, I'll get your opinion.

What you WILL NOT see:

  1. I will not waste any time on political issues. I am here to have fun, and sometimes that topic gets to be too serious with too many emotions, and I have enough drama in my life (yes, I know, most of it is on ABC).
  2. I will not be ripping "The Establishment." In fact, I am probably Anti-antiestablishment. That's all I have to say about that - for now.
  3. I will not be including too much info about my family. For now, let's leave it at this - I have 2 kids (1 boy & 1 girl), 2 cats (1 boy & 1 girl), and 1 wife (girl).

That's about it for now. I'll get this thing kicked off later in the week.

Later People - Baba Ganoush over and out.