What in the hell is the world coming to? Alright, let me take a step back. Mornings at my house can be hectic, with 2 kids and needing to get ready for work. So, to combat this issue, our kids watch TV in our room while we are getting ready.

We generally watch TLC, which has a wholesome offering of educational children's programming. My daughter is too young to really care about anything other than bottles, diaper changes, and throwing up on Dad. However, my son has some very clear favorite things to watch.

He is very militant about his "choo-choo." Do not try to turn his choo-choo when he is watching it, do not try to take off his choo-choo when he is wearing it, and please, under no circumstances, try to take his choo-choo while he is playing with it.

I will say that Thomas The Train will hold my attention while we are watching it, I do not mind him wearing Thomas, and I actually enjoy building tracks with him.


Coming in at a distant 2nd would be Elmo. While I find Elmo a tad bit annoying, I will tolerate him because he is very kid-friendly, and will hopefully teach my little ones something along the way.

Elmo was probably one of the first noticeable words that my son brought home from daycare.


Oh yeah, back to TLC - neither of those 2 shows are on TLC in the mornings. Generally, the way the mornings work are this - my wife showers, while I lay in bed still waking up as I give my daughter a bottle of milk and my son has his juice-water mixture in his sippy cup, as they watch TLC.

A few weeks ago, I was about 10 minutes into this routine, when I hear - "When I say Hip Hop, you say Harry! Hip Hop! Harry! Hip Hop! Harry!" What the hell is going on! I force my still-shut eyes open to see this.


That's right, a rapping, medallion wearing, kicks sporting, hat tilted to the side bear!!! Harry's not really the cool sort of hip hop bear like 2Pac, Flava Flav (not the Flava of Love Flav, but the PE Flav), or Biz Markie would be. He's more like a Vanilla Ice, Markie Mark, 3rd Bass kind of rapping bear.

After the intro song, Harry went into his next set - What's tha name ya need ta know - Roy G Biv!" No, I am not kidding. The show ended with a dance line, where Harry, and some of his homies show off their dance moves.

I guess I should look at the bright side of things. Not only will my kids know how to dance at a very young age, they'll also go to kindergarten with a healthy grasp of Ebonics.

I give up.

Baba Ganoush - OUT!!!