Friday, January 12, 2007

Ramble Alert - Aging, Therapy, and Cremains

I want to first thank everyone for the kind words left earlier in the week about my daughter. She is doing just fine. I got worked up for nothing - just being an over-protective Dad. God help us all when she starts dating. Her older brother (2 yo) is starting to be very protective of her, which is funny to watch, and oddly not due to my influence at all.

That said, let me start my rambling, or I'll never get through this. I love everything about being a Dad. I wouldn't trade that for the world, but my kids are a constant reminder that I'm getting old. That would be fine, if they were the only reminders.

In the past I have ranted about my grey hair and my early onset of Alzheimer's. Up until now, I've dealt with my rapidly aging self pretty well. Most of my life, I've been characterized by my athletic ability. Surprisingly, I've taken the fact that my abilities have diminished (or at least the fact that I don't use them anymore) very well.

I was okay when I could no longer be introduced as a Big Ten Football player. I'd played football for 14 years, and then one day it was gone. To this day I don't think I've internally dealt with the void that was left in me when football went away.

I was okay when I decided to stop playing rugby, despite playing a key role on a national championship runner-up team. In some parts of the country, rugby is taken very seriously. My time playing rugby enabled me to relive some of my glory days. Well, on a smaller scale, but I still got the attention I needed.

I am even okay with the fact that I have not played basketball in 2 years. There was a time when I played everyday. I remember when I went home one summer we played with the lunch crowd at noon. We would then play with the evening guys around 6 pm. We would end our day playing with the Kent State guys around midnight.

My athletic endeavors these days are mostly playing Wii Sports, chasing the little guy around the house, and mowing the lawn. Yes, I know, very sad.

Given all that, I think I've been pretty good with the grey hair and Alzheimer's situation. Well, I can't take anymore! For the past year of so, I have been eyeing up some hair that had sprouted from the corner of my inner ear. At first it was just a little fuzz. Then it got longer and darker. I finally had to have my wife trim it with a little pair of scissors, which in and of itself carried a fair amount of dignity loss.

The straw that broke them camels back came during the holidays and while I was Christmas shopping. Not sure if you guys have seen these skate shoes the kids are wearing. I'm in the mall, kids everywhere, and some of them just start rolling around on their shoes. I literally said to myself, "those god damn kids, and their skating shoes." I give it until June, and I'm telling the neighbor kids to turn down their blasted music as I sit on my rocking chair on the porch.

So, is that what I'm considering seeking therapy for? No! In my last post, I made a reference to The Exorcist. I mistakenly called Linda Blair, Natalie Blair.

What in the hell was this Freudian slip all about. I really don't want to know! Gotta love Blair though. Lisa Welchel was so cute back in the day! Get out of my head Mindy Cohn! GET OUT NOW! That's all I have to say about that.

Which brings me to my last little tid bit. Earlier in the week, Dan blogged about Cremains. I made a promise to briefly explore my phobia of funeral homes and morticians. My uncle is a mortician. Growing up I would play at the funeral home where he worked (and now owns). The owners at the time had kids that were around my age (8 or 9 at the time). They had an enormous house, half of which was dedicated to being the funeral home.

We would play hide and seek, and they would always hide in the casket room. The casket room had a staircase that went directly to the embalming room. I remember going there at times when they had a body that was ready to be shown, and the kids were always fiddling with the body. The image that is etched in my mind is of their boy taking glasses off of an elderly woman and wearing them. To this day, I am very uncomfortable visiting them. This is a profession that all the money in the world couldn't get me to do!

This phobia was reinforced later in life by The Tall Man, Angus Scrimm. I think I saw Phantasm at an age when I had no business watching a movie like that, and thus, the emotional scar.

Have a Great Weekend!!!

Baba Ganoush, OUT.


BSB said...

Wait till you reach 40... then you'll be drooling all over yourself... LOL

About the grey hair, when I got the shave, I didn't remembe what colour my natural hair was..well it's growing back...with lots and lots of silver (I prefer that to grey) ;-)

OK..had to read about the movie beginning with the letter E..and it's dark out... now I'm freaking out!!!!!! Better call the therapist now!!!! Thankx BG!!!!

Baba Ganoush said...

BSB - I like that - Silver.

BSB, I kid you not, I had a nightmare last night after posting. Something about people's heads buried in my backyard and zombies trying to recover the heads.

Maybe we can get a good rate if we have therapy together?

Anonymous said...

Getting old kinda sucks...thankfully I don't have any kids yet to age me even faster! I have a very important question, though...does Wii Sports bring back that glory days feeling? I'll probably be getting one as my belated b-day present from my siblings this month...looking forward to it! Actually, I've ran a 5K recently, and I'm doing a "Bop to the Top," which is running up the stairs of a 37 story building, at the end of the month, trying to recapture my "glory days" in Track and Cross Country. I have to admit, so far, I have no clue how I ever ran a 5K in under 18 minutes in High School.

BSB said...

Cheaper-rate therapy, yeah count me in! ;-)

Webmiztris said...

no wonder you're traumatized. kids playing with dead bodies is just WEIRD. lmao! what kind of parents let their kids play with corpses?? that's too funny...

Dan said...

As I said earlier Baba, you're a great dad.

Now, about this: I remember going there at times when they had a body that was ready to be shown, and the kids were always fiddling with the body.

All I can say is -- if kids do this at the funeral home, you can just imagine what they're doing in the kitchen in McDonald's!

Happy weekend!

Yasamin said...

My athletic endeavors these days are mostly playing Wii Sports,

out of this entire post, this was the sentance that made me cry...

why why must everyone be able to get their damned hands on one of these and i cant!!!

growing old can suck but im only 25. i have no idea what im looking forward to but i do know that im not going to be one of those foegies that are stuck in the past. :p

Yasamin said...

oh yeah and rugby is pretty big here in az.

Baba Ganoush said...

Ramzi - My level 28 on team slayer brings back the glory days. That's about it.

BSB - I'll have my people call your people.

Miztris - Oddly enough (yeah right) their son is now a mortician himself. Can you imagine that one for bring a parent to school for career day?

Dan - And that's why I no longer eat fast food. Well, that and a need to extend my life.

You have a good weekend too, my friend!

Yasamin - Yeah, you have to get your hands on a Wii. It is a blast.

We played a couple of tournaments in AZ back in the day.

I think I'm well on my way to being Al Bundy.

JLee said...

I feel you on this post (with the exception of the ear hair thing ;)

That is pretty creepy about the casket room. I too was freaked out by "Phantasm" and my roommate's brother kept rewinding the part where the guy's head explodes! AAAAH

Beth said...

I loved this post!

You sound so much like my husband...he played football in high school and college, ran track, the whole nine yards...big jock guy. So he's at 6th grade camp with our middle son, and he's playing football, showing off, you know, trying to make his boy proud, and BAM! Tore his ACL! Fell like a ton of bricks. he still hasn't had surgery on it,and it was 3 years ago, but he's able to run in a straight line, so he still jogs everyday.

It's very hard for him to give that "Jock mentality" he coaches instead!!

I love this blog.

sAssY brOwn said...

hair growing out of the ear already?! Baba, you are in trouble later, you'll be one of those old guys at the barber getting his ears & nose trimmed!
Have a great weekend!

Baba Ganoush said...

JLee - Yeah, I'm not proud of the ear hair. Thankfully, I am not going bald (knock on wood) at all. So, there won't be any no hair on your head, but hair in your ear jokes!

Beth - I made it through everything without any serious injuries, so I'm sure I'll be due as soon as my little guy can play catch with me.

I would love to coach someday. Hopefully, we will settle where we are now and I can get involved with that soon.

Sassy - As long as I keep myself well groomed, I should be okay. I don't want to be "that guy," who let's himself go. I'll look like teen wolf.

Thanks Sassy, you have a great weekend too!

mollymcmommy said...

i hear you my friend, kids age you. and can i say i hate those damn healie shoes, hate'em, stupid kids ;)

i've been having dreams lately of my teeth falling out, which reminds me of elaine (from SN) dreaming about wooden teeth, i watch way much tv.


Tanya Kristine said...

Oh Baba...i know of what you speak. that's why i didn't have any children. and my girlfriend cried when she knew she was going to be a grandma. part in joy; part in horror. death is not so bad. you get to drink, smoke & party 24 hours a day and never suffer any repurcussions!

angry ballerina said...

Baba, while I love reading your blog, I must say something. You are disturbed. And now, I have images of some geeky little kid playing with a cadavar.

Baba Ganoush said...

MC Mommy - I can only hope that the skate shoe fad is gone by the time my kids are old enough to want them.

T. Kristine - Grandchildren? Grandchildren!?! Oh no, I don't think I can handle that.

AB - If the only thing I accomplish with this blog, is to infect others with the images in my head, I will be a happy man.

Just sharing the love AB.

mindy said...

i always hated the fact the fat one from facts of life was a mindy.
i also saw phantasm when i was young. i still can't watch it. oh, and salem's lot.. remember when the boy was floating outside and scratching on the window.. oh, i'm freaking myself out.

The Absent Minded Landlord said...

Some times I feel old when I get frustrated about what teeny boppers do, then I realize that disrespectfull ignorance has always pissed me off.

Baba Ganoush said...

Mindy - Salem's Lot is very creepy!

I watched The Omen yesterday, and today I watched The Hills Have Eyes. I need to stop watching those kind of movies for awhile and relax to a nice Jennifer Aniston film.

AML - Somedays, I wish I could be that level of disrespectful ignorance. It is probably very calming to be that stupid.

Jenny! said...

I'm 25 with a 2year old son, far from old, but when I see those skate shoes I am saying to whoever is around me,"those are so dangerous b/c those kids aren't wearing helmets!" WTF! I think I was born and old crotchity lady so I am okay with the aging process!

Yasamin said...

wait... you sell shoes and your wife has a boufant hair do?


Baba Ganoush said...

Jenny! - Yeah, I don't know how more kids aren't hurting themselves on those things.

Hmmm.....wonder if they make them in a size 13? I can see what all the hubub is about!

Yasamin - You put it that way, and I can see why Al was so pissed off all the time. The day my wife sports a boufant, is the same day we start having an open marriage.

BSB said...

Should I be worried???

I haven't received any call as of yet???

Ok.. I think I should take a pill now... and calm down.

Steven Novak said...

I always thought Tootie was the hottie of the bunch. ;)


Kristin said...

Yesterday, my son was asking me about a certain woman and when I said how old is she? He replied, "Middle age... you know, a little younger than you."


so yes, old, I feel you.

Baba Ganoush said...

BSB - My people quit.

Steve Novak - I think Blair was the best, but Jo was very underrated!

Kristin - Boy, I feel old as things are. I'll really have problems when my kids tell me I'm old on top of things.

Reverend Sumangali Tania Pink said...

Well, I've hit 40 and I'm not drooling all over myself.

But I will say - that getting old hits you fast - and sudden. When I started flossing to avoid losing my teeth and not just to keep my breath kissable, I don't know. But, I do.

Hang in there - I'm told that good things come with age - me? I'm just using it as an excuse to be cranky and get away with it ;)


Baba Ganoush said...

Pink - Sounds like you are doing well for yourself. At the rate I'm going - I fully intent on being in Depends by the time I'm 40.

I never need an excuse to be cranky.

CSL said...

Enjoyed the post a lot but let me say, all you under-40's need to get a grip. I feel better about myself in my 40's than I ever have. I'm not ready to be made into cremains yet!

Baba Ganoush said...

csl - I just figure I'll get my mid-life crisis out of the way now, so I can enjoy the rest of my life.