Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Halloween Rules of Engagement

I have very fond memories of Halloween. Dressing up, trick or treating, being allowed to stay out a little later than I normally was allowed.

This is a FUN holiday. Traditionally a children's holiday, it has gained a lot of popularity with adults, which is great. Last night during Monday Night Football, the cheerleaders were dressed up. This morning before I went to work, the guys from Mike and Mike in the morning were dressed up.

Everyone dresses up. I embrace this.....So how could such a fun holiday piss me off? Lemme tell ya!!!

Here are some simple rules I would recommend when contemplating your trick or treating strategy:

  1. Please do not be the greedy kid that demands more candy, despite the fact that a line is now forming behind you. Take your 3 pieces (yep, I'm givin 3) and move to the side!
  2. Please do not come back to my house for seconds. Even if you think you have cleverly disgusted yourself with some minor costume adjustment. I would rather have you violate rule #1.
  3. I think trick or treating is a neighborhood activity. I have no problem with kids coming in from other neighborhoods, but don't be That Family that spends all night driving around to different neighborhoods. I saw this all too often when I lived in Wisconsin. Remember this is for fun! It is NOT a charity event.
  4. Children of all ages should participate in Halloween in some fashion, however, if your child is too young to eat candy - Do NOT be That Parent, who carries them around asking for candy for the baby. We both know the candy is for you. Let's just not go there.
  5. Please, I beg of you, do not be My-Baby-is-in-the-Car-This-Sack-is-for-her Lady. You are unacceptable, and should be prepared to present said baby upon request.
  6. I am not sure what the age cut-off for trick or treating should be. I am not even sure if there needs to be one. If you put some thought and effort into your costume, I can respect that and you are worthy of a Kit Kat. Just don't be Mr. I-Threw-On-a-Hat and am-a-Baseball-Player Guy. That's Busch League. At least go home, cut some holes in your mom's good sheets, and come as a ghost. At least I can respect the risk you took.
See, not that bad. Just a few common sense rules. Unfortunately, most people do not have common sense.

So, for those of you out there that are having trouble grasping this concept, here are a few visual aids.

While I can respect a Matrix and a Sports reference, this will just not get it done. Please obtain the sheet that we talked about.

While these might not be accepted by the masses in most neighborhoods, they meet my criteria, so jump in line, here comes your Milky Way, Milk Duds, and Jolly Rancher.

How You Doin'? Anytime I can work in a Janelle Pierzina reference, it will be so. We love you Janie! If you come to my house dressed as a Naughty Maid, you will receive 4 pieces of candy.

If Janelle comes to my house, she will receive a special treat.....get your mind out of the gutter, remember, I am NOT a Deviant!

So there you have it. Have a Happy Halloween, and about all else, Have Fun!!!

Baba Ganoush, OUT!


JLee said...

oh man, those are my pet peeves also! Those greedy little bastards caused us to run out of candy quick last year!

Madison said...

awwww see last year i lived on a military base so i didn't have those issues...

and i think i'm being stingy with trick or treating this year... my townhouse development doesn't have any children in it (mostly singles- and i'm the youngest one at 25) so i'm not handing out to the town's kids... there are plenty of others to do that for me.

got a kick out of the two puppies- maybe it's because i'm way too modest for that. :)

Baba Ganoush said...

Hey jlee - this year we just bought a lot of extra candy. My wife's afraid she'll eat all the extra, so we have to make sure most of it gets out.

Baba Ganoush said...

Yeah Madison, there's no way I would have the guts to wear anything like that.

Lala said...

Haha. You crack me up.

I can't wait to see what kind of people knock at my door tonight.

I even carved my first pumpkin ever last night to get into the spirit. (Yes, I know, My parents should be shot for allowing me to make it to 24 without carving a pumpkin.)

What are you dressing up as?

BSB said...

Today at school, I dressed up as the perrrrrrrrrrrrrfect little school girl.. check out my blog!

euhhh nothing like the sexy maid.. I think I could lose my job if I ever dressed up like that! lol

Don't forget.. I'm in a private catholic school.. ;-)

Cheryl said...

Happy Halloween!

We had kids come to our neighborhood just for trick or treating too, but I think they were from less nice neighborhoods so I felt bad for them.

Baba Ganoush said...

Hey lala. We did not do a pumpkin this year. I figure we can start that next year.

I am taking our little guy around, so I am not dressing up. Are you dressing up to pass out treat. I should have insisted my wife dress up.

Baba Ganoush said...

BSB, I think a lot of us would lose our job if we dressed like that and went in.

I'm on my way to your blog.

Baba Ganoush said...

Hey Cheryl - thanks for visiting the blog. Yeah, the people that would come to my neighborhood in vans in wisonsin were from a not so nice neighborhood, and I felt bad too. Until they violated all of my rules. And when I say all of the rules, I mean ALL OF THE RULES!

I still gave them candy though - or food for the week, however you want to look at it. That's the sound of my express ticket to hell being punched.

angry ballerina said...

I bought my pumpkin pre carved this year. I am *that* lazy. However, it was the best thirty bucks I ever spent. except for that one time with the Naughty Maid. Have fun tonight, and BE SAFE! God knows I wont..

JLee said...

You should've seen all the people DRIVING their kids from house to house last night...how lame!

Baba Ganoush said...

Pre-carved huh? That sounds right up my alley! Naughty Maids are always better.

Driving kids around in a neighborhood is just lazy!

Dan said...

That girl's got some nice puppies! ;)

Baba Ganoush said...

It's all about the puppies!