Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I'm Losing My Mind

Good Ole Baba Ganoush is a little confused. There's something that I just don't understand, and quite frankly is starting to piss me off!

I'm doing a bit of a hotel tour while traveling for work this week, which gives me plenty of time to ponder life's little mysteries.

Take a look at the following job descriptions, and tell me which one doesn't fit.

Truck Driver - ISO anyone willing drive for hours on end. Must be willing to sleep where you work. Willingness to not sleep for days desired. A general "scary" appearance and/or disposition a bonus. Preferential treatment will be given to anyone who possesses at least 2 of the following characteristics - over 300 lbs., a chain smoker, ownership of a trailer park home, a beard, darked out glasses, a criminal record, or multiple tattoos.

River Boat Casino Regular - Do you wonder what you are going to do with your Social Security check each month? If so, we have the job for you. Looking for individuals who think they have disposable income, but really don't. You will receive special consideration if you are Asian and can smoke at least 3 cigarettes a minute. If you will commit to playing with your rent and utility money every month, you'll be hired immediately.

Traveling Carny - When is the last time you remember taking a shower? In fact, has the combination of soap and water not willing touched your person in years? If so, we have the position for you! Looking for individuals to travel across the country entertaining people with dangerous rides, rigged games, and fried food. If you have fewer than 10 teeth call today!

Customer Service Representative - Are you fresh off the boat? Do you speak broken English, if any at all? Are you at risk of losing your H1-B Visa? If you answered YES to any of these questions, we need you to help English speaking people with problems and questions via phone conversations. Sound like an unbelievable opportunity, don't worry, we thought so too, but it actually exists. Call today - we have mute people waiting to take your call.

Seriously, if I have to talk with 1 more "customer service" person, who I cannot understand, I am going to lose my mind.

If you see me on the news, you now know why!

Baba Ganoush, OUT!

15 comments:

JLee said...

hahaha...good descriptions all. I feel you on the Customer Service Rep thing! So frustrating.

Nancy said...

By the look of things, you better get home soon.

Baba Ganoush said...

JLee - Especially when I ask to talk to someone else, and I get someone who can only speak slightly better English.

Nancy - Back safe and sound. If I don't use the phone, I'll be safe here.

Dr. Stephanie said...

No doubt. If I wished to speak to someone whom I cannot understand, I would ask my engineer father to help me.

BTW, my uncle is a truck driver. He fits your criteria to a t, minus the criminal record. But the funniest thing was that he used to have this cute little teeny poodle named "Tad," who would travel with him. Picture it: a semi, my rotund, chain-smoking, greased-hair, swearing-like-a-pirate uncle, and cute little Tad.

angry ballerina said...

Nice Baba, reaaaaaal nice.

HeatherLynn said...

it's been a long week for you too I see. Frustration must be going around.

All I can say is...life is full of irony isn't it.

~hl~

Beth said...

is "fed up" your middle name? I love the carny thing tho!

Are you watching american Idol?!! Who's your favorite so far?

Webmiztris said...

lmao...I can so relate. I feel so stupid when I can't understand them. Then I think, "wait, I'M not the stupid one - whomever decided to hire these people are the stupid ones!!" drives.me.nuts!

sAssY brOwn said...

I was on the phone yesterday asking a question about my cable package & i just could not understand what the person was saying. I kept saying, I'm sorry, I don't understand & i think they were getting impatient! ARGH!

Baba Ganoush said...

Doc Steph. - I have no doubt the side of him that brought Tad along on trips also helped with the lack of a criminal record.

AB - You know it. Nothing like a little stereotyping!

HL - Life is also full of stupid people. I just don't understand.

Beth - "Fed-UP" is the theme for the week.

I am watching AI, but I am a few episodes behind. I have them on DVR, and hope to get caught up this weekend.

There are a few people that have no business having made it this far though.

Baba Ganoush said...

Miztris - As a former hiring manager, I am embarrassed for the profession!

Sassy Brown - Yeah, I had to "apologize" to a lady the other day several times.

Like it was my fault though, that they cannot perform their job correctly.

I need to call that department back, but have been putting it off. I just know it will be painful.

angry ballerina said...

Your such an jerk...But thats why I like you! Jerk.

Undercover Angel said...

Good descriptions! I can relate to you. I hate customer service reps, but do you know what I hate even more. Automated telephone answering systems that make you go through 3000 prompts before you get to speak with a real person - and then that real person is the customer service rep you described...

tkkerouac said...

great post, like your thumbnail

Dan said...

Baba, I'm with you on this one! My car recently broke down so I called AAA roadside assistance and ended up talking with a woman in India! She had trouble locating me on the map because she wasn't familiar with the area. Hello? Anybody home? Of course she wasn't familiar with the area!